Accept The Now… Give The Present Of Today

“Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone. Don’t stress about the future, it hasn’t arrived. Live in the present and make it beautiful.”-Unknown



“I am going to do my best to try and create a country in which children are not living in poverty, in which kids can go to college, in which old people have health care. Will I succeed? I can’t guarantee you that, but I can tell you that from a human point of view it is better to show up that to give up.”-Bernie Sanders

The present…Not many people are focused or in the present. Most people are either stuck in the past or to focused on the future.  Many people can’t see whats right in front of them. They can’t see the struggles children of today are going through, that we have our own extremists here in America, or climate change killing animals our future generations  will never be able to see. Many people are scared of facing the truth of today. That is why most people are stuck either in the past or only focused on the future.

I am focusing on the present, the here and now, in truth its all we really have. I am watching the presidential debate and voting for Bernie Sanders. I am focusing on my senior year of high school and having fun. Each night I spend time with my family, and we talk about the debate. In a house of 2 loving parents, 2 young adults, a teenager, and a child we debate on which would be a better president. Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders. We have three people for Bernie Sanders and three people for Donald Trump. I believe it is good to debate to have with children.  I get to give my opinion about what I believe will happen in the future, both my hopes and my fears. One day it will be them running this country, our children, your children, and when the time comes, they need to know the qualities it takes in a person to help lead the way, qualities I see in Bernie Sanders. Young people and minorities, are the one’s who get the president elected in the first place, so why not talk to the young adults of today?

Why don’t we all just stay focused on the present, instead of being glued in the past, or fast forwarding the future? I hope one day we can teach young adults, teenagers, and children what is right and what is wrong in this world, and put our trust in them. One way we could teach them to stay in the present, is to have them focus on what is right and wrong in this world. Help them focus on being compassionate to others and show gratitude for what they have, help them to see these same qualities in others, instead of being glued into their media devices, and your own.


You Get To Decide The Legacy That You Leave

“Senior year is for the tears, facing the fears, loading the cheers. You find out how close you are to some, and how far away you are from others. You’ll have your lasts and get ready for the firsts. Then look back on it and remember it forever.”-Unknown


“Family: Like branches on a tree we all grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one.”-Unknown

Today marks the half way point of senior year. Yes, there is only 83 days left of the school year. That means only 83 days till I graduate. It is a bit nerve racking to know the day keeps getting closer and closer. Yet, I am so excited for the day I move to Madison. I know it won’t be easy being 4 hours away from home. I know I am going to get homesick and will miss my mom, dad, and even my brothers, but it will be a nice change.

Knowing I will be 4 hours makes me anxious. Knowing I will have to take full responsibility of myself makes me even more anxious. The move will not be as easier as someone else. I am going to have to change my doctors and hospitals that has been almost a second home. I have to figure out on my own of how I will get my monthly chemo at school. I will either have to go to the hospital during a weekday and miss class (which I’d rather not) or go during the weekend.

Being 4 hours away will be hard. I will miss my family so much. They are the ones who keep me wanting to go on. A lot of the time I get nervous about leaving my mom. Knowing my mom will be in a house of 4 boys (including dad) is always racking in my head. I hope she won’t go insane. Its going to be really hard for me to be away from her. She is my best friend I dont know what i will do without her. I believe dad will be right by her side helping her deal with the boys.

I think being 4 hours will be nice for me. It will give me the independence that I need. Most time when I tell people that I will be 4 hours aways they say “wow thats far away! will you be okay?.” I will reply back with “Yeah but, its not right down the road or an hour away! They can’t just pop up out of the blue.” In reality it scares me knowing they won’t be close where can’t come and see them. I miss them so much. Though its far I know Edgewood is the right place for me.

Making Hospitals A Better Place For Kids

“A hospital can be a scary place. Help kids cope with stress and uncertainty is what child life specialists do. They asses needs and explain what is about to happen, using age-appropriate language and medial play. They calm fearful patients with relaxation and distraction techniques. Soon that scary place isn’t so scary anymore.”-Unknown

Imagine being ten and having a mom, dad, and three brothers under the age of nine. Then imagine yourself being very sick. Imagine that your toes and fingertips are falling off from necrosis, having an open wound the size of your hand on your stomach, and not having anyone there to help you and your family through this difficult time. A child life specialist is a pediatric health care professional who works with children and families in hospitals and various outpatient settings to help them cope with the challenges of hospitalization, illness, and disability. During this time the child life specialist could not help my family and me. That being said I have put my all into my future of becoming a child life specialist. I want to be there for them. I want to help children and their families the way that the child life specialist couldn’t for us.

   Child life specialists have been there for me when I was in the hospital and needed them. I became close with some of them, but sadly, not all of them.  When I was very sick and dying, the child life specialist was unable (possibly due to a lack of experience) to explain to me or my family about what was going on. The child life specialist was educated i.e. book smart however in the empathy department our needs were unmet as a family and as a patient.  Someone with similar experience could have provided what we desperately needed. Someone who understood the pain what my family was experiencing. Many child life specialists do not yet have the life experiences that would enable them be able to put themselves in their patients’ shoes. All the training in the world will not prepare them the same as having the life experience of being a child with a compromising health condition. They will always be there but the field of child life specialist is in need of more people with real life experiences of childhood traumatic illnesses.


I figured that I wanted to become a child life specialist at the young age of ten. I knew from a young age that I wanted to help children with health problems such as a pediatric rheumatologist, but that was too much school.  To become a child life specialist you need to have a baccalaureate degree which is four years of college. The idea of becoming a child life specialist had struck me because I have been sick for a long time that I knew I would help them. A child life specialist isn’t like a social worker or a doctor. They are someone who you can learn from and play with. They help relieve the stress that may be burden sick patient and family. Child life can help with explaining medical procedures and helping them understand what will happen. They can also travel to the patient’s school and explain to the classmates and teachers about what will happen at a level that is appropriate for children. They can also teach the patients and families skills that will help the, cope with the illness. After all I have had a traumatic illness since I was a baby, and grew up with three younger brothers. In my opinion I will be able to make child life specialist a better field just because I have been in the shoes of someone who has been ill. Many people will not be able to put themselves in that type of situation, but I will because I have been in that situation. Even though I can’t tell how the process of having someone with an illness was for my parents, brothers, friends, or loved ones affected them they have told me stories about how it affected them and I will be ready if that situation comes up for the patient and me. I hope the children will look up and trust me more because they and I have gone through similar circumstances. They will be able to look at me and be able to tell that I have had an illness. I know that my height will help them be able to trust me better than someone who is taller because they will think of me as their friend instead of someone who is trying to hurt them. I hope that I will be capable to help children with traumatic illness feel more comfortable in the hospital.


As you can see that my reasons for becoming a child life specialist is beyond a job or a chore for me. As I finish I leave this quote for you by B.J. Seabury “I’m not a therapist. Play isn’t just diagnosis or therapy. It’s these children’s right and their need.” It is my passion to help children feel more comfortable in the hospital I believe that I will be able to help my patient and their families more than someone else can just because I have been in their shoes. A child life did a lot for me, but they had a lack of experience that would have helped us to know that everything was going to be alright. I know my patients will feel more comfortable around me just because they will be able to trust me more and do have experience per say someone that is tall and does not understand what they are going through.

Needing More Love and Support

Pretending to be happy when you’re in pain is just an example of how strong you are as a

Many people have stress whether it be from their job, school, health, or kids. I know when it comes to me I am most stressed when it comes to my pain/health and school. I try to be at school as much as I can but when I am in pain it is hard to focus. Most of the time when I’m at school and in pain I push the pain to the back of my mind. I know I have to be at school as much as i can but it is hard when your pain level is always at a five or above.

When it comes to my pain I try to focus on something else. Whether it be someone talking, doing school work, or reading. I also like to do breathing meditation in class if I’m in pain. Most people can’t tell I am in pain or meditating. Most times I just take really deep breaths. I also like to tune people out so I will plug in my jams and start reading if I have no work.

When struggling with stress my anxiety also comes with it. I get anxiety attacks when i am in large groups of people. I try to bypass large groups of people. I will leave class early so I can skirt passed the crowd. I can’t go to amusement parks, malls, or anywhere with large groups because I know I will start to panic.

I also used to struggle with depression. Depression is also a side effect of many disabilities including arthritis. Yes I was or am one of those people who struggle with Depression. When I was in middle school depression hit me the most. I would miss school on purpose or skip lunch because I felt no one was there for me. I would sleep all day when I was home. I didn’t want to be around my friends or family. My depression still comes and goes but it is under control. I am much happier than how I used to be.

Too release some of my stress or pain when i get home. I will take a bath, use a heating pad, or ice. I listen to music and read books most often. People would call a bookworm if they knew the amount of reading I do. In reality I takes me into my own fantasy land. where I can be anywhere and anyone I want.

Ghosting The Disabled


“Please understand I have a disability, not a disease. You can’t catch it. I may walk, talk, and move differently than you, but on the inside I’m not so different.” -Unknown

At school I am left out a lot because I can’t do stuff the other kids are doing which is pretty normal for childern with a disability. But the sad thing is that when I am in a crowd of people with the same disability just not in the same way, shape, or form. I am left out. I am standing in the back with other kids who are like me. We can’t  run or jump like the others kids can, but we have as much joy as the other kids do.

Most of the time when I go to events for arthritis most of the focus is on the healthier ones. Why not put the attention on the more sickly? I know plenty of people who are in a wheelchair, have hip problems, have chemo, and are sick weekly. Instead of giving more attention to the ones that can play a sport, do back flips or handstands, and only take one pill a day put the attention to the more disabled. Im not saying that people who are able to do things shouldn’t get attention. I’m just saying give EQUAL attention to the disabled too.

Just like in the public, people with disabilities are invisible. People will look in the different directions when they see a disabled person coming in their direction. Just like when they are with their peers they are invisible. Why is it when people with disablities are invisible when they are with their peers? Because their peers are afraid of truth that this person maybe different or sicker. Or they may not be as educated on the  disease. If this is the case we have to educate them. Yet everyone needs to be looked at as the same. Most of the time when I go to events for disabilities the less sick are up on stage or in front of the crowd. Instead of the sicker. why can’t the sicker one be up on stage or in front of crowd to show their peers and the audience what this disease may do to someone. That being in a wheelchair, getting chemo, having a hip replacement at a young age, and being in the hostipal is a possibility of this disease.

I think for once someone should put the more sickly people up on stage and have people cheering them on and sayiing its going okay. That they should put ramps up to the stage instead of stairs that way anyone can get up there and say “Hey maybe I am strong enough to be here.” Everyone wants to be recognized no matter their height, weight, beauty, intelligence, race, and ability. Never leave someone out.

Things That Goes Unnoticed

Arrian Angels

No family is perfect… we argue we fight. We even stop talking to each other at times, but in the end, family is family…the love will always be there. found on

In my life there is a lot that goes unnoticed. I don’t want to talk about what goes unnoticed in my life, but in my family’s life. My life as well as my family’s life has not always been easy. I have always been told how much courage and strength I have, but it is not me who has the most strength it is my family that does.

My family are the ones who gives me the courage and strength to continue with my life. My family had to give up many things that a normal family can do such as go to an amusement park because of me. My younger brothers had to watch their older sister almost…

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Things That Goes Unnoticed

No family is perfect… we argue we fight. We even stop talking to each other at times, but in the end, family is family…the love will always be there. found on

In my life there is a lot that goes unnoticed. I don’t want to talk about what goes unnoticed in my life, but in my family’s life. My life as well as my family’s life has not always been easy. I have always been told how much courage and strength I have, but it is not me who has the most strength it is my family that does.

My family are the ones who gives me the courage and strength to continue with my life. My family had to give up many things that a normal family can do such as go to an amusement park because of me. My younger brothers had to watch their older sister almost die when she was ten, they had to watch her get chemo every month, and they had to watch her grow up in a wheelchair. My brothers had to give up many things in their life because of my disability. Yet they don’t resent me.

My parents are the strongest people I know. My mother who has taught me to be the strongest person I can be, showing me which paths to take. She had me at such a young age, then I was diagnosed at not even one year old to having my brother when I was 13 months old and raising us alone then having another child alone when I was 6 years old and raising us to be the best children we can be. She was not just raising 3 children under the age of 10 all alone, but she was also raising a disabled child who needed at least twenty different medicines a day, shots a week, and chemotherapy each month. She had to bring me to the hospital at least ten times a month or stay overnight at the hospital with me this had caused her to not to be able to keep a job. When I was nine my mom had met our stepdad, I call him my dad. They had my youngest brother when I was ten that is when I nearly died, at only two months my parents had to make a heartbreaking decision, to send my youngest brother to his grandmothers, because I was in a coma at the ICU and mu parents wouldn’t leave my side. My stepdad has always stayed with us no matter the circumstance, if he isn’t called a father or a man then I don’t know what is. My mom’s most important goal for us is education, she doesn’t just talk about, but she is also graduating with a psychology degree this spring with a 4.0 GPA, the same time as I am graduating from high school. She is the one that gave me the inspiration to do so well in school.

I often resent my disease because we cannot do a lot of things that other families can do. I believe that without my family I would not be the person I am today. Each and every day I am thankful for everyone in my life but the most my family. I hope one day my family and strangers can see how much strength and courage they have given me in my life. They are my role models, they are the ones I look to for advice and friendships. The most unnoticed thing that goes unnoticed in my life is my family’s courage and strength. I hope after reading this you will notice that it was not me who had the most courage and strength, but it was my family who has the most courage and strength.